cipher
2014-09-04 15:54:13 UTC
Academic Writing Rant
by Cipher
I have a theory about Libraries. Visit one and you will find 90% of it is
filled with magnificently erected steaming piles of academic pyscho-
babble. Art. Literature. Fiction. All manner of subjects are covered,
some of them fine and wonderous. A tiny portion of it is actually useful.
But go down the Social Sciences Aisle, and you run into the mangled,
tortured syntax of the modern liberal arts professor convinced that only
he/she knows the the path to true enlightenment. And they wish to share
it with us, the Great Unwashed. Worse than that, they wish to impose
their wills upon us...
To properly construct a title for one of these monstrosities, you must
cover all the bases:
1. In the first half of the title, list at least two unrelated
disciplines.
2. Separate the first half of the title from the second with a colon.
3. In the second half of the title, mention "A Multi-Disciplinary
Approach."
4. Make sure it is as removed from reality as possible.
Real Life Examples:
Criminal Belief Systems: An Integrated-Interactive Theory of Lifestyles
ISBN: 9780275978204
Gendering Citizenship in Western Europe: New Challenges for Citizenship
Research in a Cross-national Context ISBN:978184742237
Queer Theory and Communication: From Disciplining Queers to Queering the
Disciplines ISBN: 9781560232766
Social Gerontology: A Multidisciplinary Perspective ISBN: 9780205336258
And even a book about how to write such nonsense:
Exploring Avenues to Interdisciplinary Research:
From Cross- to Multi- to Interdisciplinarity ISBN: 9781904761686
And way back in the dimly lit corner of the library, you'll find something
else. A row or two of the books that put us atop the food chain. The
works that separate us from the ape. The books that built the world we
live in.
This section, often poorly maintained, has tags on the rows:
Science. Engineering. Physics. Mathematics.
These books are for the knuckle-dragging brutes who insist on constants.
Unshaded truth. Where the color gray exists only as a part of studies of
non-spectral colors in the achromatic band of the electromagnetic
spectrum.
The authors of these books live in a world where 1 + 1 always = 2.
Not 2.5. Not Giraffe. They do not consider how the numbers feel. They
worry not a whit about the self-esteem of an equation. They seek Truth.
It is the work of their lives to provide us with the empirical proof of
things.
Academics, upon their next visit to the library, should at least glance
over that way. And thank their Upright-Walking God for having made the
men and women who wrote those books...
by Cipher
I have a theory about Libraries. Visit one and you will find 90% of it is
filled with magnificently erected steaming piles of academic pyscho-
babble. Art. Literature. Fiction. All manner of subjects are covered,
some of them fine and wonderous. A tiny portion of it is actually useful.
But go down the Social Sciences Aisle, and you run into the mangled,
tortured syntax of the modern liberal arts professor convinced that only
he/she knows the the path to true enlightenment. And they wish to share
it with us, the Great Unwashed. Worse than that, they wish to impose
their wills upon us...
To properly construct a title for one of these monstrosities, you must
cover all the bases:
1. In the first half of the title, list at least two unrelated
disciplines.
2. Separate the first half of the title from the second with a colon.
3. In the second half of the title, mention "A Multi-Disciplinary
Approach."
4. Make sure it is as removed from reality as possible.
Real Life Examples:
Criminal Belief Systems: An Integrated-Interactive Theory of Lifestyles
ISBN: 9780275978204
Gendering Citizenship in Western Europe: New Challenges for Citizenship
Research in a Cross-national Context ISBN:978184742237
Queer Theory and Communication: From Disciplining Queers to Queering the
Disciplines ISBN: 9781560232766
Social Gerontology: A Multidisciplinary Perspective ISBN: 9780205336258
And even a book about how to write such nonsense:
Exploring Avenues to Interdisciplinary Research:
From Cross- to Multi- to Interdisciplinarity ISBN: 9781904761686
And way back in the dimly lit corner of the library, you'll find something
else. A row or two of the books that put us atop the food chain. The
works that separate us from the ape. The books that built the world we
live in.
This section, often poorly maintained, has tags on the rows:
Science. Engineering. Physics. Mathematics.
These books are for the knuckle-dragging brutes who insist on constants.
Unshaded truth. Where the color gray exists only as a part of studies of
non-spectral colors in the achromatic band of the electromagnetic
spectrum.
The authors of these books live in a world where 1 + 1 always = 2.
Not 2.5. Not Giraffe. They do not consider how the numbers feel. They
worry not a whit about the self-esteem of an equation. They seek Truth.
It is the work of their lives to provide us with the empirical proof of
things.
Academics, upon their next visit to the library, should at least glance
over that way. And thank their Upright-Walking God for having made the
men and women who wrote those books...
--
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)\ ( ) /( Cipher/Proud Member, Netscum Alumni Association
)-(0^^0)-( Bungmunch U./AHM Memorial Institute of ***@x0r1n6/Dean
)/ \\// \( Colonel/1st Virginia Volunteers/CeSium Brigade
(oo) Registered Linux User #556617
/ ~~ \ Empire of APDD/#6-5p07/VLNOC Cohort #1407
***@o ***@o Keeper of the alt.CeSium FAQ
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
)\ ( ) /( Cipher/Proud Member, Netscum Alumni Association
)-(0^^0)-( Bungmunch U./AHM Memorial Institute of ***@x0r1n6/Dean
)/ \\// \( Colonel/1st Virginia Volunteers/CeSium Brigade
(oo) Registered Linux User #556617
/ ~~ \ Empire of APDD/#6-5p07/VLNOC Cohort #1407
***@o ***@o Keeper of the alt.CeSium FAQ
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~